Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Randomize
