Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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