dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
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