And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
