I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Cover your peen. We're going out.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
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