Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize
