dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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