she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
