Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
How does one acquire holy water?
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Randomize
