I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
