I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
