There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Randomize