handjob tips. give me some.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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