if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
