Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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