so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
