Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
