I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
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