People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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