What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
