so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
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