I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
