So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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