32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
