dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
