girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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