i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
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