Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
