And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Randomize
