I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
