you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
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