The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
i love accidental penises.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
