Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
