The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
