Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Randomize
