Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
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