Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
