Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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