im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
