yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
