i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
