ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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