RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
