I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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