Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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