Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
