It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Randomize
