I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Randomize
