my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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