Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
