I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
