when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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