I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
