i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
