no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Randomize
