there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
She announced her abortion via fbk
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Randomize
