i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Randomize
