So drunk its hurt
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
