In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
he was CRYING into my vagina
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
