This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize