Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Randomize
